Anxiety and Depression?
I have had anxiety and depression for most of my young life, due to being bullied at school, and I have never gotten over the experience.
After I left school things got worse and there was one stage in my life where I would not leave my home, I was too afraid to in case I ran into the people who bullied me. I was like this for a while until one day I realized that I needed help. So I went with my parents to see the doctors. I am seeing a counsellor for my problems, and I am doing volunteer work to get me out the house.
The things I worry about are, will I ever get over my anxiety and depression? Will I always have no interest in sex because of my anxiety and depression? What kind of woman will go out with a man who is not interested in sex? I know there is supposed to be someone for everyone, but it would take someone very special to go out with someone who is not interested in sex.
Answer:
Are you taking medication for the depression? If you are that could well be the reason for your loss of libido. Depression in itself can also cause either a huge surge in sex drive or loss of drive.
I know how you feel, I suffered depression a few years back and at the time I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel either. Now after treatments and counselling I feel completely different about myself and my life.
You are taking the right steps, continue with the counselling and make sure you don't keep yourself away from normal social contact. The volunteering is great, I found that helped me a lot too and to this day I am a volunteer with the mental health charity MIND.
Don't get too hung up on the sex issue, it will become self perpetuating if you do. Take time to recover and then take it slowly from there. It wouldn't do any harm to mention this to your counsellor who may be able to put your mind at rest a little more.
Good luck!
Hi there,
It sounds like you have made some really good steps towards healing yourself and overcoming your fears.
You may find once you do get into a relationship that you will become interested in sex, if you make a connection with someone and you start to trust them then I am sure that your lack of interest in sex with start to disappear. Maybe I am wrong and you just aren't interested and never will be but I seriously doubt it in the long run. Get through your issues and see how you feel then... you never know
Good luck with your healing process my heart really goes out to you
YW
i have anxiety,i had panic attacks and you know what ,,keep looking for answers, you will be better, i will be your friend if you want, you need to talk to someone, yes,,,, they will all say you will need to talk to someone, but i will be here if you wanna talk, ok, just add me or mail me,, you just need human interactions to build up your confidence and from there every other aspect of your life will open up like sex life,love life,money and such,,,the greatest men and women all have some kind of problem with them
just add me up will ya
Sex is not the only thing girls live for. They shouldn't have sex till they are married anyway. When you get more confident in yourself things will change. Keep counseling. Also look to God for help. Get a Bible and read it. It has a lot of answers in it. Your counselor should be able to help you. If he doesn't, find another one. Been through lots too. Find someone to talk to besides the counselor. Maybe a church counselor or a pastor.
Hey sounds like you've had and are having a really tough time of it, but if you try to stay positive it'll get better. I suffer from anxiety too and some days I feel completely overwhelmed that I can't go out. But to me, it sounds like you are doing really well.
As for the sex and relationship thing, I know it sounds awfully corny and motherish but I really do believe there is someone for everyone. Girls can be more understanding than you think, and the sexual side of things may grow when you are happy and comfortable with someone.
Very best wishes xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I think most women would be glad to go out with someone who's not interested in sex, at least initially. Or the type of women you would consider for a relationship and not a fling, anyway. At almost any age, there are guys who are interested more in sex than anything else, so I'm sure you will find women who think it's refreshing to go out with you.
Anxiety and depression can definitely affect your interests, whatever they may be. But things can better once you start to feel more confident about yourself and start letting people get to know you better.
I'm not saying it's easy - I am 32 and just now feel like I am starting to master some social skills - but the more you can get out of your own mind and out in the world, the better you will feel.
Good luck!
you have asked several questions... without turning this into a therapy session - YES your lack of sex drive is likely related to anxiety & depression, sexual encuonters are a huge risk & typically people w/ anxiety can't handle that kind of risk (heck, many people without anxiety cant handle it!). it could also be a side effect of medications you are on. you should ask your doctor about that.
also, depending on how sick you still are, you probably should feel better before starting a relationship, otherwise, it'll likely be unhealthy & co-dependent.
i firmly believe that a combination of medication & treatment are necessary for recovery from mental illness, but, yes it is possible. i've seen it happen. so take heart. make a FIRM commitment to yourself to get better, NO MATTER WHAT. it'll be scary & difficult, but it's worth it. you may want to look into more intense treatment options beyong weekly or biweekly outpatient treatment, such as group treatment, day treatment options, & support groups.
good luck.
Your lack of interest in sex could well be due to your anxiety and depression in the sense of your self-esteem. You understandably find it hard to trust other people and to let people close to you. You will get over your anxiety and depression.the fact that you have already recognised that you need support shows that you are determined and strong. If someone was to show interest in you at the moment you'd probably believe that they weren't actually genuine. It's easy to say put faith in other people but it's hard when you have been hurt and let down so many times. You are strong and you will do it. Some things are more important in a relationship than sex. You have so much to offer someone and the rest will come when you start to believe in yourself again. What you feel is common with depression and nothing to worry about.
Take care
Mel :)
**HUGS**
I've been there myself. I have had sever agoraphobia for years, sometimes it get the better of me and I can't go outside at all.
My husband was like you, fortunately at the time we met my self esteem was very high and I was very high functioning. When we married we were 30 & 31.
Keep working with your therapist. As your self confidence grows things will change for you. What I see from your post is a sensitive & caring guy who is strong enough and smart enough to know when to ask for help.
Sex is an important part of a relationship/marriage but it's hardly the most important. The right girl will come along when you are ready.
Take this time to improve yourself on the inside and out. Make sure you are eating a healthy diet and getting exercise (both cardio and strength training) getting plenty of rest and sunshine. All of these have a major impact on mental health.
Also keep your eyes open for a girl who really likes you for who are and what your doing with your life.
The medicine and health information post by website user , ByeDR.com not guarantee correctness , is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
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