I am not happy with life, but don't know how to fix it. Anyone else going through this? Sad all the time!
I have talked to my friends & family and they just don't understand what is wrong with me.
I even have had three long term relationships, though I've never been able to fully commit because I am afraid to take my unhappiness into it. I pretend I am not to most people. My fiance knows I have a problem, but everyone seems to just think a person can snap out of this. I've not been able to snap out - it goes on and on and I am completely miserable. The drugs do not work and I've tried three different kinds. I'm just sad. Does anyone else have any experience with this?
Oh - and God doesn't cut it for me. Before you go on saying that jesus is my answer, he isn't. I can't force myself to believe in something I don't.
Answer:
Hey Catwoman,
First off, congratulations for wanting a 'real answer', and not just some religious placebo!
As a rational person, I am sure you can appreciate a rational approach, so instead of advice, I will give you more questions:
1. Whose job is it to make you happy?
2. What would you gain from deciding to be happy?
3. What do you gain from staying unhappy?
If you can get alone with yourself, write these 3 questions down on a piece of paper, and then spend time ALONE answering them for yourself, I am sure that the answer will come out of your own head.
I believe that there is nothing wrong with you, except you have not made up your mind who you want to be. As long as you do not have that certainty, you will ask others to supply you with answers.
Well, others have tried and failed. I think it is time that you ask yourself. If you want some help with that, feel free to write to me, but with suggestions about your self improvement, not complaints of how others have failed.
Sounds tough, perhaps, but for me, this is not a popularity contest. It is about really learning how to build a life worth living - and I have used this approach myself, although it was 'suggested' through text books.
Write to me through my website, under 'source' if you wish.
Roselle
I don't know if by drugs you mean antidepressants or something else. But I will say that depression is not something that with just being out with friends, or involved with someone, exercises, will make it just go away. It looks like it is something that you will have to deal with on a daily basis. Some days being with friends will make you feel good and other days not so much. There is no quick fix or one time fix. Its chronic in some people. Keeping going with the therapist and keeping with the medications. And good luck
Dear Catwoman..reading your post I felt that it was something I could have written myself a few years ago. I felt the same way and had tried drugs, therapy, exercise, painting, yoga, yogurt and cottage cheese. Nothing worked. You can read about my downward spiral on Yahoo search under "The Last Temptation of George Petrie" if you are interested. My problem was that I was seeing the wrong doctor, getting the wrong meds and the wrong advice. Finally, after a failed suicide attempt and having lost everything I owned except what I had in a paper bag, I was hospitalized and given the correct medication. Now today I have successfully recovered what I lost, including my mind. Sometimes it takes the right medication in the right dosage and you shouldn't give up. I did and today I regret that I didn't fight harder back then to regain my mental health. best wishes to you
i really dont know. id tell you to get back on antidepressants, but thats not what you want to hear. it could be neurologic, or you need to see a psychologist, not a therapist.
Happiness eludes you no matter how much you search for it. Stop searching. Just stop. What is the result?
I feel the same way as you do. I have tried tons and tons of things. I'm still on 2 different meds which help some. I go to a psychologist every week. I spent 10 days in a mental health hospital. After those 10 days I felt great. But that was a year and a half ago and I feel the same way I felt before I was sent there. My parents have told me to just snap out of it, too. It's impossible. They also push religion down my throat and I don't buy it.
Lots of people suffer though this. It sucks, I know.
Here's what I do: every morning when I first wake up I just want to stay in bed all day and forever. Not because of laziness, but because the depression sucks the life out of me. So, I think of all the good things that is going to happen that day. Ex: I don't want to go to class/work... but I'll see my friends there. My favorite lunch is being served today! whoot I am go shopping or I am going to pamper myself today and I will enjoy it (which may not happen, but telling yourself it will makes it more real). Whenever I can't think of anything exciting or fun or just happy... then I say to myself: I get to go to bed tonight. The day might be dreadful, but always keep your mind on your goals. To me, it helps. I hope it helps you, too. But I just wanted to let you know that many people go through these sad thoughts and times. I'm one of them. I wish you luck and happiness! We can get through this!!
I grew up in a family that had money, and material things every where. If my sister asked for horses, dad gave us two. I asked for a couple of dollars on my way out the door, it was never less than a twenty. I never went without a car from the day I turned sixteen, Numerous beach trips each summer, Hawaii when I was in the 6th grade. Big houses we lived in. But I grew up very angery! Took no interest in school and my grades, I was too angery! All I had I would have given to anyone for good moments of true love and attention from my parents. I never felt good enough for their love or worthy of their attention. So the anger only grew inside me, and then the teen years hit, and the hurt, and determination to hurt my parents, kicked in. I decided I would have their attention one way or another! I'm nearly forty now----- I have two kids now.
I went to eighteen before I knew what a trial really felt like in this life. I had life good! My heart was aching!
( E-mail, or IM me) When you dont see a reason to be alive-you need to do TWO things. 1) Go visit someone, or a place where they don't have freedom, or food, or housing, or parents, or arms and legs, and take a long look at what some others call their normal daily life. People with AIDS, or CANCER, would leap up out of their dying beds, to change places with you! Pick someone to trade daily challenges with. You will be rushing back to your own in no time flat!
2) You need to find some homeless shelter to serve food to people, or a orphanage to read to children on a regular basis. A jailed someone to visit regularly, someone to serve that has daily life tough! You must have too much time to think in your life, about how you wish your life was different. And make someone elses day shine.
I will add too---- any hurt or sadness that you may be avoiding/ or dealing with, you may need to start writing daily in a journal, and let all your true feelings surface. Sometimes we just need to allow ourselves a good deep cry! I have soo much going on daily that when I'm typing a essay I rather not deal with, I do it and cry the whole time! Or driving home from a bad day at work, I cry the whole way home, just to not make my kids have to feel the wave of the anger!
I'm hear if you need me!! Don't make a car wreck or house fire, or heart attack come your way to count your blessings! And don't bottle up your sadness, it will finally have to explode like stuffing a pillow too much will lead to.
The medicine and health information post by website user , ByeDR.com not guarantee correctness , is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
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