Does anyone ever feel like all the good times have fanished?
im not sad im just bored
Answer:
Yes, of course. What happens is that as we age and have more experiences, we tend to "clump" them in groups for their sense, real or imagined, of what makes them similar.
Example- You know nothing about picnics or sailing. one day you have the most amazing time with friends as you experience both, on a great day filled with laughter and love of great friends...
Life, deaths, work, relationships, peoples bulls**t and lifes less fun things happen as well and over time you start to be a bit jaded, guarded, and less open to the beatufiful simple fun that other of life's offerings might provide. Sailing to you today might remind you of that amazing day long ago, but it may also bring up less welcome memories as well. Your thoughts of sailing remind you of the day your mate broke up with you in their crisp white and blue boating type sweater. Or maybe that you suffered a loss of someone dear in a boating accident. etc..Those memories start to cloud not only the joys we remember, but also tend to sway our views of events that are available to us in our present life or future.
Example; Friends ask you to go on a cruise. You are curious as you have never been on one, yet slowly you quickly have a glimpse of that damn "breakup" sweater, and then your thoughts unconsiously turn to your lost friend. On and on. We become numb and jaded by lifes bad gifts, so much so that, without even knowing it, we can't even see the shear joy in discovering and taking on paths of possible life changing delight that are still available to us.
The cruise experience, although as unknown to you as that day of food and sailing long ago, now may even seem familiar enough to WEIGH its options of yes-go or no-dont! You might clump it into your "i know what a cruise is all about" cloud of built up bad associations. ( jen went on a cruise and almost drowned. I hate Cathy Lee and she sang on their commercials. I am not ready for a swimsuit and wont be for another 5 years blah blah blah)
Why dont we hold the positives, if we can even remember them, as dear and powerful? Why don't we let all the great associations come to the surface and help shape our experiences and decisions? Why not the following? Jen almost drowned on that cruise, but then got mouth to mouth by that hot lifeguard, who she was romantic with for the rest of her trip.
I hate Cathy Lee! Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Almost as bad as mine thatcrazy fun night I was drunk, sang that song at Karioke, and won!
I am not ready for a swimsuit, but hey I have three amazing kids that sadly required the betrayal and death of my waistline. Well, at least my chin and jowls are down there now to take its place! But I love me anyway!
Why are the neg events so much more powerful than the positive? I often wonder, why did that sad sad trainwreck with 45 deaths get my heartrate all raced up and pumping more than the crayon drawing I received from my 6 year old godchild? Are we trained to place greater importance on the sad and crippling events or is it inherrant.
Who can say? But now, being aware that we may be doing that, we will be forced to see that good times ( already lived or otherwise are all around us) We need to give equal or greater weight to all the great blessings we have, than to what fills us with regret, or pain. Those need to start to shape the choices you make, and also just free up your energy so that you are able to notice what good is happening all around as well.
Try this:
As your thoughts tend to turn to what pains you throughout your day, write them down. No rules so if you think it might be negative and relevant jot it down..Keep an index card in your pocket or bag so you always have it. Dont think you will jot it later, you wont. Immediately! Do not jot what happy things you think of. Only negative. Before you retire for evening, transfer all your days scribbles from card onto a journal that is more permanant.Now for EACH bad notation, force yourself to remember the good ones you were not allowed to write down (my rules). Or just force yourself to recognize the good in your life and match each bad one for one with whats good in your life. ( bad and good can be TOTALLY unrelated, its only for a comparison of the amount of whats good, and that you are now training yourself to recognize as important, but also training yourself to remember by NOT allowing yourself to write them down. You will see that the good start to come to mind as easily, and the good, fun, thrills you seek, do still exist if you can see them and then make chioces to experience them.
Hopefully that makes sense. I am not a psychatrist or trained counselor. I only offer what worked for me after losing my dad and brother in a two week timeframe, and then out of the blue a week later, watched my beloved home wash away by Katrina in New Orleans. I sat on a neighbors 3rd story roof , alone ,watching the water pass the second story and rise up to get me too.
. One suicide attempt later and much time to decide if I even want to be on this earth , led me to make a list to prove to my loved ones that my attempt was truly justified. Surprisingly my "good memory floodgates" opened up and I could not stop all the good in my life from taking over.I was really shocked. Yes, I sway towards sadness and depression EVERY day, but I have learned to trigger myself to not get jazzed up by whats bad and instead quickly think of whats great.
BUT PLEASE REMEMBER- if you do go on a cruise you might indeed drown. Perhaps you might get food poisioning and die a painful death at the cabins table. Ha Ha. Remember to find a cute mate before the ship leaves port and fill each minute with perhaps disrespectable, but ultimately HAPPY HAPPY moments onboard with that new mate.It might be your last chance to taste whats so good about your life. Feast!
Choice is yours! Choose Happiness or at least to recognize it as well.
and if nothing else, perhaps my way too long, too much info filled answer, heavy is bad spelling and run on sentences , will bore you into the most restful , mood altering sleep you have ever had!
All My Best, Keep me posted. I really care.
M
PS not doing spell check or grammar check, sorry! :)
AMEN to that.life blows, ever hear the song 100 years by...somebody...they got it figured out.
Life is fun when your young, you get old.it sucks.
Five for Fighting is who sings 100 years
me too, this summer is just so boring.
prozac, zoloft, cymbalta
YES
i feel the same way
its all so blase!
Time to get out there and LIVE! Then you can create new memories to base bored winter afternoon's on...
i feel your pain... speacially when you have no money to enjoy life. how can you enjoy life if its not possible?
Yeah, I know what you mean. Just remember those good times, it's the memories that are most important.
One hundred years by The Cure perhaps?
I definitely feel the same way, ever since the start of 2006, life has sucked, nothing good to look forward to, just feeling horrible, pretty much all the time.
=[ Yea...it's somewhat of a lonely soul crushing feeling...
All I ever wanted was a second chance to relive those moments again and to be with those friends but those days are over and all I can do is hopefully make new memories...
=[ I just can't believe I took all those moments for granted...
I felt that way until I got a wild hair up my butt and bought a motorcycle.. get out and live. I bought a dual sport enduro bike. can ride the interstates or blacktop roads and then get dirty riding the trails in the dirt,making trails where ever I want to..been the best investment ever..100 a month for the thrill of a lifetime on a daily basis..gets 62 mpg and will run 83 mph.costs under 5 dollars to fill up and can ride for 3 days on a tank..cheap fun..yall get out of that funk and lets go riding.!!!!11
The medicine and health information post by website user , ByeDR.com not guarantee correctness , is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
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