Is it ok to mostly stay to oneself?
I think i am an introverted and I feel better when I spend time mostly to myself but people around me are more outgoing and sometimes when I am around people I don't really know what to say and at times I am afraid that I may say the wrong things and embarrass myself. As a result people tend to well ignore me because I am not as outgoing as those who are around me and it makes me uncomfortable with who I am. It makes me uncomfortable in my own skin and I am starting to get tired of trying to be somebody that I am not. I dont understand why I am the way I am but I can't do anything about it. i don't even know anymore.
Answer:
If you do not suffer from any social phobias and you are content to be by yourself at times then you probably don't have a "problem", the anxiety you feel may be as a result of others pressuring you to be involved in things you would rather not be.
I am also a person who enjoys my time alone, however I do go out and do things with friends at times, but only involve myself to a degree that I am comfortable with, If they don't like it, too bad for them.
may you have social anxiety/phobia?
There is nothing wrong with keeping to yourself. I am the type of person that has to please everyone else and put my own needs aside, well the result of almost 40 years of that is a very insecure, doubtfull person. I don't like being this way, I am talking to a counselor about it, maybe you should??
I am the same way, as i read your question my phone rang & I rejected the call of a friend, just because I don't want to talk.I like to hang out with my dog & cat, no judgments.I think its probably something Drs have a name for & medicine to help but I have not gone to a Dr, because it makes me uncomfortable.
Its called social phobia and its a real illness. you need to get some help. Tell your parents or the school counselor how you feel. Get some material on social phobia and show your parents. Let them know you feel this way and you want to change. Change it now or it will affect you in life
God made you and God doesn't make junk. :)
"They" don't "make" you feel the way you feel.. your feelings are based on internal thoughts of your own, conscious or subconscious.
YOU choose what feelings you re-act to or not.
If you are uncomfortable being around certain people, ask yourself WHY and then ask yourself WHY again and keep going.. you may find that your feelings aren't really based on anything REAL.
It is important to Love yourself for who you are. you cannot recognize someone else loving you, if you don't first notice that YOU ARE LOVEABLE the way you are.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.. by putting yourself first. The key is not to be you at the expense of others....
Being quiet allows space for those who are not quiet... Yin/Yang.
Blessings to you.
Reading this is more reading about myself.
Needless to say I am an introvert- have the nerves to prove it.
Most people are outgoing mainly outward bound they kind of hide but then they dont.
It is hard to muck in when one's needs. Its one's musts and that is the motive to carry on. Complex humans huh?
Be yourself always!
I guess if you are a teenager, it's normal for you to be shy. I was painfully shy and introverted when I was 14-16. I hated that boys made weird sounds when I walked by and commented on my body. I did get better after a few years when I got more confident in who I am. Now I can talk to anyone and feel just fine about it. I'm assuming you have no friends. You need to find girls that have the same interests. They might feel exactly the same way and you won't feel as tho you're so alone in the world. You really should try to be socialable. It will help you in getting a job, getting a BF or married. All kinds of reasons why you should try to help yourself to a decent life and enjoy other people's company. Good luck hon...
This is going to sound contradictory but I think that I'm kind of both outgoing and introverted. Some days when certain people call or when anyone calls I just won't answer the phone at all and I'll let myself be miserable even though thats not what I really want.
Other days I'll want to go out and talk and see the world and do stuff I've never done before but I find that something is holding me back, like I can't fully commit to doing something that I've never done before usually.
For example, right now, I'm forcing myself to go play ultimate frisbee with a bunch of people I don't know, not because I don't want to play frisbee but for some reason its comforting in a way being alone to yourself.
I'm no psychologist but I tend to think that the best thing people can do is find balance between what they love to do and what they don't love to do, between being outgoing and pulling back the reins a little bit and staying to oneself.
I don't think you are socially inept but I think you, like myself, need to keep prodding yourself to do stuff that you expose yourself to others and to things willingly and break out of your shell sometimes.
There's nothing wrong with being introverted.
However, if you ever get tired of being that way, or if you would like to become more socially skilled, you can develop those abilities on your own.
Just start with small steps, like speaking to a sales clerk in a store, or a stranger at a bus stop. Just small talk, maybe about the weather or some other neutral subject. Observe other people engaging in similar situations, and you'll get the hang of it.
Of course, if you can afford it, I'm sure there are counselors out there who can tailor a whole series of exercises and assignments to help you get through the process more quickly, such that one day you can become "Ambassador ..." (just how do you pronounce that screen name? "Dot Dot Dot" "Dotty"?)
Don't worry, I know how you feel..i've felt like that a lot. I know most people seem to be more outgoing than introverted, but don't let it get to you. I bet you're known as the "quiet" person among your friends, right? Well, you just have to learn how to be confident with who you are. It's a fact that people with low self-esteem usually do nothing to improve it, while those people with lots of confidence and high self-esteem constantly try to improve it even more, that's why these people are seen as outgoing and "popular." If this is really affecting your life, namely your social life, you may have a social phobia, or social anxiety disorder. Check out these websites:
http://www.effexorxr.com/sad.asp?sk=4647...
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide...
If these sounds like you, then you can get help from a therapist, or possibly get medication. You can either seek help and work on building your confidence and feeling more comfortable around people, or you can continue living this way, which I'm not sure you want to do. It's not good to feel uncomfortable all the time and not know why! SO seek help from a professional, if you want to change your life!! Good luck to ya! :)
Social anxiety disorder. I've had it for years and you described it perfectly. I spend a lot of time alone.
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