A co-worker died, and I am not handling it well. Has the death of a near stranger ever deeply affected you?
I can't stop thinking about him, and I don't know why his death has effected me so much when I hardly knew the guy.
Answer:
You probably are taking this hard because of his age. It's always difficult to think of somebody young dying and especially from an illness. It makes us think of our own lives and could something happen to us like that. Even if you didn't know him well, you did have contact which brings his death in to your life. Also, thinking of him shows you have compassion. That's a wonderful trait.
Never happened to me yet and I've known 2 people in my workplace that died (natural causes and an accident) but dosen't mean that maybe someday it might. I just felt bad for them and their families but really got over it in a matter of hours.
Absolutely. There was a girl with whom I was friends in middle school, briefly. She and I went to different high schools and had not spoken in over 3 years. She died in a car crash (a horrible one, caused by a sleeping semi-truck driver aka the only survivor), and it took me a very, very long time to get over it because it felt to me that she was murdered, both by the truck driver and the girls who were so cruel to her in school. If she hadn't transfered schools, maybe this wouldn't have happened...
She was a stranger to me when she died. For all I knew, she was no longer the girl I had known in middle school.
someone fairly close to you, maybe in age, is dead...in a setting where you dont get to ignore it...touch of "timor mortis" probably..if him why not you?
Because he was young and maybe he lived quite awhile with the illness so you developed sympathy for him.
Or maybe his death has awakened sorrow in you from another's death.
You sound very warm hearted.
yes it affects me as well..a kid I knew in Middle School dies suddenly and it bothered me for a LONG time---I also had a coworker die and that bothered me a lot as well--I am very sensitive to things like that---
I believe that when you become aware of anybody's death you can react with feelings that come from concern about your own mortality and the mortality of those you love. Also, consider this - when you go to any funeral, don't you also grieve for all the losses you have suffered before and the ones you know you will suffer in the future?
I think it's totally normal for you to react strongly to a death even if it's someone you don't know well. Why one death instead of that of another? I think it's due to the time it's happened and your emotional vulnerability at that time.
Best of luck to you
Last November a man I worked with, just briefly (he worked in another part of our work-site, several hundred feet away) whom I just knew to say hello to, dropped dead of a heart attack. He appeared to be in excellent shape and relatively young (mid to late thirties), but it turned out he knew he had a problem with his heart and chose not to do anything about it. I impulsively went to his funeral because I could not stop thinking about him. I intermittently cried hysterically for almost two months. Now, thinking about him makes me feel sad but I keep busy and stay grateful for what I have in my life.
Experiencing this event has made me more appreciative of what I DO have, have a better understanding of how transient life really is and be more determined to live a healthier life--I'm not in the best of shape myself...
This must touch something painful inside of you. You need to get that dealt with.
I had a former boss die suddenly a few years ago. I worked for him for about a year. I didn't know him all that well, but I got along with him fine. I suppose that it makes you more aware of your own mortality when someone you don't know too well dies, and that's what affects you. I wondered is that all there is to someone's life? You're just here for awhile and then done?
Once I met this guy in a club and ended up having breakfast w/him at 3am in Denny's afterwards (which was quite unusual for me--I hardly ever give any man the time of day in the club, period) but over our "breakfast" we seemed to have a connection and it turned out he was a Marine from the same Group, different unit as me, so we agreed to make plans for a date that Sunday. He never did call me that Sunday and I went to work the following Monday a little upset at being stood up. Then we had formation and were told about the death of a Marine on Saturday--riding his motorcycle w/no helmet--I was crushed (I cried for hours!).I mean it seemed so ironic...I just met the guy and he died the next day?
I attended the funeral and went to shake hands w/his family and the father says to me, "Are you the young lady my son had just met? Valerie, right?" Needless to say, I really tripped out at that point--he had already told his parents about me, hours before he passed.Ian was his name.his death is still w/me all these years later, it was a f*cked up situation for sure...
I think I must have the most awful luck possible when it comes to men.
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