How do i pull the ultimate sickie?
Answer:
Dont bother with the vomit idea, just faint. Easy and clean. Say you are feeling light headed when you stand (low blood pressure) then wobble a few times. Keep on working through it, be a bit of a martyr, then plan the ultimate slump to the ground. Check the floor for any obstructions first though. Then go slowly down shouting "help" but weakly, and lie there till they start patting your cheeks.
Then come round, and say you need to go home. Say you might see the Doc, but he isnt in work till Monday. Then just turn up next week saying you feel fine now, it must have been something you ate, the weather, a bad headache etc...
Good luck.
get some thin watery n lumpy to pour down the toilet, make the hurling noises too, rub your eyes, make them red. just mmake sure someone is in the loos to witness it!
How about faking some of the old rigour mortis?
Get sick in your bosses face.
chew a mars bar... looks real but the smell might let it down... eat a lot of salt... this might kill you but i would take the risk
say your gran who lives in Ireland is dying and you have to go to her death bed.sick i know but people don't argue when you say someone died.
pretend u were in a car crash, in a friends car ofcourse, so u wont have to provide evidence of your damaged car, say have whiplash & need a couple of days to recover! make your story watertight cos everyone will want to know what happened!
put chicken soup in your mouth and then just spit it up, looks just like sick...noone is gonna smell it to find out
I always start complaining of feeling ill the day before I have a sicky, then next morning put on a weak voice and call the boss, convieniently having to run to the toilet whilst on the phone, believe me if your boss thinks your taking to God down the big white telephone while he's on the phone he won't give you any grief lol ;o)
grind up white chalk into water and drink it for a temprature and makes you look flushed then rub watered down soap into your eyes, then drink a cup full of boiled water with salt sugar and tea in it to make you throw up! i have only tried this once but it did get me out of work!
P.s would only try this if you are absolutley desperate!! good luck !
The ultimate sickie, Drop dead.
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