How to deal with the death of my mother to cancer?
Answer:
Only time will heal this wound. It is very important to grieve, so you can reach the acceptance stage. In time you will accept this loss and remember all the good times.
remember the good time s and funny times ,thats wat i did when my best friend was murderd
You live and enjoy life as she would have wanted. I lost my mother over 12 years ago and although I miss her and her counsel - I know she would have wanted me to live the life I was meant to. I don't do runs or walks, fund raisers and such I wouldn't have had she lived so why do it now. I live my life as I always intended and try to recall her advice when I need her. I miss her and don't mean to seem as if I don't but I believe her credo of "Life is for the living." and the best memorial I can give is to live a full and happy life not dwelling on sadness and loss. Good Luck!
Oh you poor thing. My mother died in 1984 after a 3 year illness with cancer. It tore me to pieces.
If you are a person of faith, that will help you tremendously. If you aren't - get some. One thing, do not isolate or stuff your feelings.
I really do feel for you and wish you the very best.
Sending you hugs.
Bless your heart. You have my deepest sympathy. I lost my father 6 years ago in May to stomach cancer. To have to set by and watch a loved one deteriorate into a shell of a person you have loved all your life is almost mind shattering. In essence my father starved to death.
The main thing that got me through it all was the fact that he wasn't suffering anymore. I don't know if your mother is still with you. I couldn't tell from your question if you were asking for future reference or if she has already passed.
One night when it was storming, I cuddled up next to dad and although he had reached the point of being comatose, I talked to him. I told him everything thing I had ever wanted to say to him. That is another thing that helped me tremendously. There was never anything left to be said between me and him.
If you were asking for future reference, then please take time or make time to sit with your mother and tell her all the things you have wanted to say to her. The good and the bad.
If you have missed this opportunity, then please go to her place of internment and tell her. I know she will hear you. Let me tell you how I know. The story will be lengthy but I feel you will benefit greatly.
When my father passed my boys were ages 3 and 4. They both loved him deeply. A little over a month after his death my oldest son was missing him greatly. At one point he even asked me that if he were to cut himself and die would he go to hell. I asked him why he would do such a thing. He said he wanted to be with his grandpa. That pushed me to my wits end. A couple of days after that I went to my fathers graveside and sat and talked to him. I unloaded all that was on my heart. I told him about the hard time my oldest was going through dealing with his death and suggested that he visit him in his dreams and spend some quality time with him. Take him fishing or something. I laid it all in dad's hands and thought nothing else about our converastion.
A couple of weeks went by and I noticed my son had seemed to calm down. He wasn't as overwrought as he had been.
On our way to dad's grave to put flowers on Father's day, I was thinking of dad and remembered our conversation. I then turned to my son and asked him if he ever dreamed of his granddaddy. He said yes he did. I asked what happened in the dream.. He said his granddaddy took him fishing. Needless to say I nearly crashed my car. I couldn't see for the tears I was crying. I asked him if his granddaddy said anything to him, if they talked or anything in his dream. He said yes he talked to him. "Grandaddy told me he would always be with me."
So take the time and talk to your mother. She will hear you no matter if she still living or has passed.
Also talk to others about her. Keep her alive in your heart.
I hope that helps.
I suggest joining a support group for the type of cancer your mother battled against. My sorority supports Breast Cancer Awareness and we always do walks and fundraisers. The point is to help raise money to help find a cure to prevent others from seeing the fatal end of cancer. There are different groups on Myspace and Facebook that have many supporters and everyone is there for advice and comfort.
my recommendation also is to create an photo/album scrap book. Because there are going to be times when you miss her and will want to look back on a memory. I did a scrap book for my boyfriends mother (she is dying from breast cancer) and she brings it with her everywhere.
I was going throw the same thing but don't llet it take over just have fun while your still here!SHE IS IN A BETTER PLACE.
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